Six Stones – 1. “Flow”

The first pond – Smile – provides for all of those things you Want to do in the short term.

Referring back to your Wants is really helpful here – this is where you actually pay for them from.

Beers after work – Smiles.  Smashed avo for days – Smiles. Round of golf / staycation / getting the car washed – Smiles.

These are all the things that bring a Smile to your face and can be done right away.

Six Stones – 1. Banking

often, we have feelings about our bank accounts.

We particularly bring our feelings and experiences to how we feel about the way we bank.

Now, very few people actually think about how they bank. It’s just done, on autopilot.

So it’s worth taking a few moments to examine why you bank the way you do – how we got here, and what we need to do about it.

Six Stones – 1. Budgeting (Diagnose)

But for many people coming out of divorce, this is NOT the case.

Often their income has dropped – for the breadwinner, because their financial responsibility extends to another household; for the homemaker, because they now need to fund their own household.

And at the same time, their expenses have probably skyrocketed.

Six Stones – 1. Budgeting (Analyse)

And it’s something you can do quite easily too.

It’s important to sit down, without any distractions (no TV, friends or other people around, after the kids have gone to bed, etc) to analyse your own data.

There’s no guilt here, no judgement – all we’re trying to do is get a clear idea of your financial truth. Sure, that might be a stack of negatives now, but that’s ok too!

We’re drawing a line under what’s gone on before, so honesty is way, way more important than embarrassment.

Six Stones – 1. The 3 B’s

The most important thing to do when you’re starting again is to get a really clear idea of what’s going on now.

Not how things used to be before your divorce, but how your current reality is. Perhaps your income has dropped, sharply, or your expenses have exploded.

Or, likely, both.

Six Stones – 1. Don’t Bother…

There needs to be a conscious commitment to this at a deeper level than the ‘mechanics’.

Otherwise all the work and effort you’re about to take on will be for nothing.

There is, after all, no point in saving $50 here, only to flush it down the toilet over there.

Six Stones – 1. Worries

What’s worrying you about your money will be different to every person you know. And your experience through, and after, the divorce will also shape your mindset when thinking about money.

But, in my experience, there are some common areas that induce stress and anxiety for people.

Six Stones – 1. Wants

These are the extra’s that make life more enjoyable. We don’t need them to live a safe and secure life, but they add enjoyment, satisfaction and fun to our lives.

There’s nothing wrong with spending money on these things!

That’s a really important point – many, many people think we’re going to castigate them for spending money on things they want in their lives.

We’re not!

Six Stones – 1. Needs

These are the fundamentals, the basic requirements you have to maintain safety and security.

No luxuries, or anything that could be considered optional.

Six Stones – 1. Needs / Wants / Worries

If you only take one thing away from this chapter – I hope it’s this:

Your confidence in your money – your financial self-esteem – is a direct result of your willingness to honestly categorise your expenses as Needs, Wants and Worries.

By dividing your net income into these three big categories – or ‘buckets’ as they’re commonly called – you have the beginnings of a money management plan.